A Friend of mine from the Happy Club sent me her writing on finding your uniqueness and re gifting it..  She is a retired mother of two and grandmother of two.  Her plan is to be a Contented Life Coach, with the goal of working with the young and old on how to find contentment in life with humor on the side.  With her ability and education in teaching and social work I believe you are going to love what she has to say:

FROM  PRESENTS TO PRESENCE AND THE PLEASURE OF RE-GIFTING

Audrey Biloon
The Contented Life Coach

We’re all either born with certain gifts of character and/or talent(s) or we’re born with the capacity to develop those as we mature. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the purpose of our unique character and talent gifts. I saw a billboard that said, “The purpose of life is to be purposeful” and that does about sum it up, doesn’t it? But how can we find that purposefulness? What if we’re at sea about our purpose? Where can we find land?

First, we have to discover our gifts and talents. I think that at some gut level we know what those are when we do something and feel a sense of contentment in doing it or when it’s done.  When we’re “with” our gifts and/or talents, not thinking about yesterday, today, or tomorrow, we’re fully present and that’s the clincher to what those talents and gifts are.

When we are fully present, it’s as if we’re able to give a present, a gift so to speak, to ourselves that says we don’t care to be anywhere else or doing anything else.

Think about it. How do you feel when you recognize something you’re good at and really get into that zone? It’s a wonderful present feeling. Time stops and you’re at peace with yourself. You’re contented.

That feeling is a joyous sense of peacefulness……some might even say spirituality.

But if that’s all there is, just a present moment to satisfy ourselves, it’s really not enough. It still leaves us feeling vacant, lonely, searching for meaning. In short, it’s not much fun. It’s like having some wonderful news, preparing a lovely meal, seeing something beautiful and not having anyone with whom to share it.

It’s the same with the thrill of having achieved any gift or talent and then being alone with those achievements. That thrill isn’t worth anything unless those talents or achievements can be shared with those who can appreciate that sharing or need us for those gifts.

In a sense that’s taking the gift or gifts we have and “re-gifting” them to others!! And by the same token, the joy of others comes from their being able to “re-gift” their knowledge, abilities, and talents to us.

When was the last time you felt at peace, contented, as if time had stopped? Perhaps when you thought you fell in (mutual) love or when you were with your new born baby or when you saw your child do something wonderful.  Those feelings are fleeting because they involve some underlying anxiety.  A fear at some level that such joy can be taken away,   that’s because they require the presence of another person.

Dependent upon that person’s involvement and other factors that can potentially destroy the moment.

The only way that you can make the feeling of joy anxiety proof and lasting (with time standing still) is when you are engaged in something that involves your own unique capability.   Something related to your own talent, knowledge, character, or ability that can be done alone and enjoyed by yourself and also can bring heightened enjoyment to you (and to others) when shared with others.

If you’ve never felt contentment of that sort, then you haven’t found your \ yet.
How can you do that? Begin to think about what brings you joy. The hint I can give you is that it is something that doesn’t involve another person, is essential to your life, and is even more enjoyable when shared.

When you engage in that talent or ability you’ll feel as if you’re giving a gift to yourself. When you share it with others, you’ll feel that you are giving a gift to others.   By their response, you’ll know that this re-gifting is appreciated in that it is bringing them joy as well.

Either or both will bring you a feeling like no other and you’ll be able to draw on that feeling again and again to bring happiness to yourself and to others.

If you’d like to submit questions, I’d be glad to answer them. If you’d like to submit suggestions, I’d be glad to receive them and to put them into the next post.

Thank you for taking time to think about enjoying the contented life,

Audrey Biloon
The Contented Life Coach