When we are in a relationship (old or new) we have to 2 choices:
Am I Contributing to My Relationship?
We can contribute to it or we can destroy it by contaminating it. Are you contributing to your relationships?
1. Don’t try to change this person: Support each other at all times. Help each other be the person they are meant to be. Love them for who they are, not what you think they should be.
2. Speak nicely to each other: We all have those times when we don’t agree with each other. Listen to their point of view and fight fair. No name calling, putting them down or yelling at each other.
3. Show respect for each other: If you don’t respect each other you will contaminate the relationship. By respect I mean value their opinions. Don’t let the ego get in the way of realizing there may be a better way when unexpected things come your way. Treat them with love and compassion.
4. Trust each other: When we have trust it shows the love. No snooping into each other’s email and cell phones. This shows that we don’t really trust them. Lack of trust is going to contaminate any relationship.
5. No silent treatment: Sometimes we do need time to cool off and think about a situation, but don’t let that turn into selfish treatment. You have to talk and communicate your feeling in all relationships.
These are just a few ways we can either contribute to a relationship or contaminate them.
OR Am I contaminating My Relationship?
Remember when you are interacting with your partner, children, family, friends or even a stranger; stop and think: Am I contributing to the will being of this person or am I contaminating this person?
If you feel you are contaminating your relationship get in touch with me for your FREE mentoring call and we can sort through your situation. Life is just too short not to be happy!
When you feel any tension rising, the sooner you address it and move through it, the healthier the relationship. Being able to tell someone the truth 100% of the time and letting them know how you feel. I guess that boils down to trust and respect as you mentioned. Good post. I’ll be back.
Brid
Brid (depression help dude) recently posted..Depression Quiz
Thank you for sharing. I do appreciate the comment. I totally agree with your first sentence. “When you feel any tension rising, the sooner you address it and move through it, the healthier the relationship.” When we don’t do this the tension just builds and sooner or later a partner will blow.
In good relationships to contribute you have to deal with the little things as much or more than the big things that come up. Little things build into the big things.
Thanks again and have a wonderful week. Blessing to you,
Debbie
“Am I contributing?”……is a great question. I believe we should always look to contribute….in everything we do. It’s a great part of effective communication….always listen with a view to understand then contribute with this understanding.
Thank you Debbie!
be good to yourself
David
David Stevens recently posted..Living Life Today….. Choices, intentional & unintentional
Hi David,
Like your comment and it is very true. In any relationship we should always try to contribute to it. Listening is a wonderful way to do that.
Thanks again, David and have a wonderful day and week.
Blessing to you.
Debbie
Debbie,
After 26 years of marriage, I can tell you that Trust is the most important thing in my successful marriage.
Thanks for the wonderful reminders,
Alex
Hi Alex,
Trust is one of the most important. With out trust I would have to agree that you really don’t have a relationship going on. Thank you Alex for sharing.
Have a wonderful day and week and I send blessing with this message.
Debbie
Twitter: thompsonland
says:
Debbie, great post! I have learned from experience (and more important, my wife has learned from experience) that we cannot change the other. We have to learn exactly who each other is and accept each other that way.
What really helped in this was reading the book “Strengths Based Leadership.” I know, leadership book, right? But in it, you take a strength finders test. And finding out each other’s strengths (heck, finding out my OWN strengths) was revolutionary in how we understood each other! If you haven’t read it, I think you’d like it!
Thanks for the great post!
Bryan Thompson recently posted..3 Benefits to Journaling You May Not Be Aware Of
Hi Bryan,
Thanks for the book referral. Knowing each other strengthen is very important. We all have our strong points and our not so strong points and it makes it much easier to work together when we are aware of these.
By the way leadership books are good. We all have them, we just have to learn to use them. thank you for the comment and sharing, Ill check out the book. I always have time to learn more.
Blessing to you Bryan,
Debbie
After 10years of marriage I have to say, that empathy and trust are the most important things in a good marriage. Man and woman have to take care of each other, and it is only available in an unconditional love.
Cindy recently posted..Problems with wisdom teeth
Hi Cindy,
Nice to meet you and thank you for sharing. Empathy and trust go a long way in marriage. We do have to take care of each other and the unconditional love is so important. You know you have this with each other when you see those miner imperfections and you can laugh about them and say “This is OK”
Thanks again and blessing to you,
Debbie
Twitter: makegirlfriends
says:
Very well put my friend Debbie -
Life is too short for us not to be happy! I see so many stay together for the sake of having a warm body next to them. Wrong reasons – to love oneself first is the key to loving someone else in TRUTH!
Honesty is the best policy and treating each other as each is a gift is bliss!
In love, light and bliss,
Nancy
Nancy Shields recently posted..LIVING LIFE OUT LOUD AND SLOWING DOWN….
i Nancy,
“to love oneself first is the key to loving someone else in TRUTH!” Very well put Nancy. We can not love others if we don’t first love ourselves. When we do find ourselves in a relationship without love and just a warm body we have to admit that we made the wrong choice, so we can go find the happiness we deserve.
Thank you for sharing and adding to the post.
Blessing to you and hugs too!
Debbie
Hi Debbie,
What an excellent post my friend. I love your list. I want to comment on the first one. To be able to live a harmonious relationship, we have got to accept each other the way we are. We can advise and affect our partner, but not change them.
Thanks for the great list my friend
Dia recently posted..How to have a stress free life
Hi Dia,
Thanks you very much for the the kind words and you are welcome, Dia.
You are correct we can advise them, but we have to accept each other the way we are.
Real love is about loving a person for who they really are and what they stand for.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Blessing to you always, hugs too.
Debbie
Twitter: KenWertM2bH
says:
Speak nicely to each other! Yes! Great list Debbie!
It is the little things that get dropped from our conversations that mean the most. So many people treat their freinds better than their own husband or wife. When the little considerations and kindnesses go, it’s only so long before the big issues arise. In some ways failure to speak nicely to each other is the smoke before the fire.
Thanks for this insightful post, Debbie! Great tips!
KenWert recently posted..Life 101: Life Lessons from a Decade of Teaching Teens
Hi Ken,
thank you Ken and thanks for sharing. You are right we have a habit of treating our friends better than our spouses. After the I Do’s are said people think will I have this person now so I don’t have to worry about it. Than the spouse gets left in the behind. Many also treat there co-workers better.
thank you for adding to the post with your comment. I appreciate this.
Blessing to you always,
Debbie
great tips as usual Debbie : )
keep in touch
Th you farouk. I appreciate the kind words coming from a man with your knowledge.
You take car now and blessing always,
Debbie
Twitter: treatmenttalk
says:
Hi Debbie,
Wonderful reminder to pay attention to our relationships and that they do need our attention. No. 1 and 5 caught my attention. We cannot change other people and need to accept and love them for who they are. The silent treatment only allows your frustrations to simmer until you come to a point where it all boils over. It’s healthier to express yourself at the time and share how you are feeling. Thanks for sharing another helpful post.
Cathy | Treatment Talk recently posted..Purple Drank: A Deadly Cocktail in the Hip Hop Community
Hi Cathy,
You are welcome Cathy. You state, “It’s healthier to express yourself at the time and share how you are feeling. ” This is very important. and when we do let the other person know that it just OUR FEELING is important. This does not make them the blame for anything, but says it is how WE feel.
Thank you for bring out that point.
Blessing to you,
Debbie
Twitter: Twitter
says:
Just in a nutshell, you explained how not to contaminate my relationship, Debbie.
Thanks for this. I owe you!
Hugs,
Chukwuka.
Chukwuka Okwukwe Chukwuka recently posted..Wilma Rudolph: From Cripple To Champion {Saturday Success Story 1}
Well COOL! Chukwuka glad I could be there for you. Hugs to you and I am there for you when or if you need me.
Blessing to you always my great friend,
Debbie
Twitter: techblowup
says:
I really impressed by your writing and your topics. I feel better enough when I read any of your article. Its good for building any relation.
Thanks for such nice articles.
Prakash recently posted..HTC Ville Leaked
Hi Prakash,
You are very welcome and very happy that they are helping you with your relationships.
Have a wonderful day and blessing to you,
Debbie