Ok! I realize that most of you probably don’t know who Red Skelton is or was. He was a comedian that had a TV show way back when. Back when you had to get up and walk over to the TV to turn it on, but you didn’t have to worry about changing channels, because there was only one channel.
For volume you did have to walk over to the TV to adjust it. (No worries we got exercise in those days just by using the TV.)
I found Red Skelton’s recipe for a perfect marriage and I got a laugh out of it, so I am hoping you will too. After all it is the season for happiness and fun.
Here are those 13 tips, ENJOY!
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere…
but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said, “There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!”
…So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well, because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was;
she told me, “In the lake.”
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?”
…The driver said, “No, jump in!”
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right.
I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don’t like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault thought.
My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?”
I said, “Dust.”
Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did from the good old days; when humor didn’t have to start with a four letter word…..It was just clean and simple fun!
Hi Debbie,
I loved the jokes especially:
My wife told me the car wasn’t running well, because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was;
she told me, “In the lake.” LOL
Thanks,
Hi Brady,
thank you for sharing. I liked that joke too. What I really like about the post is how we can add humor to marriage and relationships, which helps not to take our partner things as serious or personal. Life can be serous, but at the same time we have to know how to have fun.
Blessing to you,
Debbie
Hi Debbie,
This is a funny list. lol Having a perfect marriage requires daily nurturing and care. Otherwise, it will head for divorce or separation. Number 5 is hilarious “We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.” Thanks for sharing Debbie
Dia recently posted..Falling out of love
Hi Dia,
Thanks Dia for sharing. Marriage does take daily nurturing and care, just like a garden or even an automobile. When we don’t take care of things they do fall apart.
Thanks again and Blessing to you.
Debbie
Twitter: miraclady
says:
Dear Debbie -
Do you really want us to admit that we remember Red?
Back in the days – not one dirty word.
How refrehing.
Very funny/ Thanks for the memories.
Corinne Edwards recently posted..MAKE THE SALE – AND THEN SHUT UP
Hi Corinne,
Will not really, but you have to admit he was pretty darn funny. Thank you for sharing and good memories can be like money in the bank. We all need to draw from them every now and than.
Blessing to you and hugs go with that
Debbie
p.s. I would say I was sorry that we beat your Bears yesterday, but I really would be lying. So I’ll just say, What a Game!
Twitter: http://leapofaction.com
says:
No effing words – how refreshing! Marriage sure is the number one cause of divorce! For the rest, these jokes seem a bit like “late night jokes” – the Jay Leno, Dave Letterman type jokes that are, I feel, essentially demeaning (in this case, to women)… yet I keep watching and laughing at them … because they don’t do Calvin & Hobbes and The Peanuts on TV :-[
Beat Schindler recently posted..Yes You Can … Steer Yourself In Any Direction You Choose
Hi Beat,
Never thought of it, late night jokes, but you are right. Does remind a person of that. You should never feel demeaning when it comes to women, Beat. I can tell you are a very gentle soul.
Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful day,
Blessing to you,
Debbie
Hi Debbie,
I remember the Red Skelton Show in stunning black & white here in Australia, funny bugger…..that was quite a time ago. Great one liners, thanks
be good to yourself
David
David Stevens recently posted..Living Life Today – When your day feels like a “bummer”
Hi David,
Guess we are all telling our age now. Good old black and white TV’s, yes, We had one of those too and he was in black and white. He did have some great one liners.
thank you for dropping in and have a great day.
Blessing to you,
Debbie
Twitter: makegirlfriends
says:
I remember RED – are you kidding he was a staple at our house – I call him the modern day version of Rodney Dangerfield….
I had a great laugh over some of these – too funny and thanks for bringing me a morning laugh!
In gratitude to laughter,
Nancy
Nancy Shields recently posted..Internet Dating Part III: Coffee Anyone?
Hi Nancy,
Glad I was there for you morning laugh. You made my day!
He was a staple at my house also and we enjoyed the time to laugh together as a family.
Thank you for sharing your memories of Red with me.
Blessing to you and have a wonderful day, hugs,
Debbie
Hi Debbie,
These were a delight to read. Very funny.
As is often the way of comedy, we find comedy funny because we can relate to it.
I probably relate most to the shopping one. Especially at this time of year.
Thanks,
Bryce
Bryce Christiansen recently posted..Seven Mistakes to Avoid When Starting a New Job
Hi Bryce,
I did have to laugh at the shopping one. As women, guess we all can relate to that one as easily as a man can. Glad that you enjoyed the read, Bryce. We all can use something to lighten up the day this time of year.
Blessing always to you, and thank you for sharing.
Debbie
Twitter: treatmenttalk
says:
Hi Debbie,
Your post brought back memories. When I was in Girl Scouts, we went into LA and watched a taping of Red Skelton’s show. That has stuck with me. I remember is was a fun show and he made me laugh.
Life has changed, hasn’t it? Things were simpler in those days. Funny quotes – I enjoyed them. My favorite is the first one: Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
Cathy | Treatment Talk recently posted..What Everyone Ought to Know About Prescription Drug Abuse
Hi Cathy,
Yes, Cathy life was simple back then. We knew how to enjoy the moment back then. There was no to-do-list we just did what needed to be done. Our life wasn’t filled with junk and stuff.
Thank you for sharing which one you liked the best. I thought that one was pretty good myself.
You have a wonderful day and blessing to you,
Debbie
Twitter: successbb
says:
I’ve met his nephew and brother (if I remember the relationship correctly). Nice people.
I like 3, 4, and 13. Oh, and I can relate to 11. I keep getting reminded of it
Grady Pruitt recently posted..The 100 Questions Follow-up Exercises – New Year Resolution Goal Setting – Mastering Me Monday
Hi Grady,
I thought that 13 was pretty dare good. Think my favorite is 3. That is really cool about meeting is brother and nephew. He always stuck me as a very down to earth kind of man.
thank you Grady for sharing and blessing always to you,
Debbie
Ahh back in the day when TV sets were made of mahogany lol. I wish I read this list 10 years ago!!
Twitter: KenWertM2bH
says:
Awesome, Debbie! Such a witty man, he was! Thank you for sharing his wit and humor here. One of the reasons such jokes are so funny is the shred if truth they often exaggerate.
And kudos about comedy not needing to start with a 4-letter word! It was nice when comedians actually had to be funny, not just shocking!
Well done, my friend!
Ken Wert recently posted..Random Acts of Wisdom II: Living by Principles
Hi Ken,
Thank you Ken! He was a very witty man and one we could really enjoy. It is refreshing to hear a comedian that is very funny but clean and not just shocking.
Thanks again and blessing to you always,
Debbie
Twitter: Twitter
says:
Awwww! Can’t find the keys on my keyboard anymore.
Funny jokes! Red is simply so not serious.
I love #5, #6 and #12. Hehe!
Thanks for adding fun to my night, Debbie.
Much thanks,
Chukwuka.
Chukwuka Okwukwe Chukwuka recently posted..Making Money: 15 Money-Making Rules To Know
Hi Chukwuka,
Glad i made your night fun! It is amazing what humor can add to a day, evening or night. We all need to laugh everyday. I am glad that you found your keyboard, so you could share. LOL
Blessing to you always,
Debbie (hugs too)