How to Tell if He or She is The One for You!

are you the one  How to Tell if He or She is The One for You!When we make the decision to marry, many people like to believe they are marrying their best friend.  And to me we should be!  Best friends are people that we trust, respect and can share anything with and not be judged for how or what we are in any way.

Here are 8 tips for finding that best friend to marry and spend the rest of your life with.

Your back ground is similar.  Your family back ground is similar.  You where raise with similar morals and beliefs.   You think alike, but at the same time you can accept any differences.

By looking in their eyes you can see who they are.  Eyes tell a lot when we really look at them.  When you are with the right person you can see things in their eyes that know on else sees.   When I was dating my hubby, he came across as strong, handle anything (which he can), but what I saw was a big teddy bear.

Communication comes easy.  You can be open and honestly about all things.  They know you and you confide in them like you have with no other person.  You know each other’s true self.  They are easy to talk to and a good listener.

You have a spiritual connection.  Your beliefs in God or a higher being are the same.

You feel excitement when you are with this person.  When you are with each other you feel fulfilled.  You are excited to see them and enjoy the time you have together.

There is a physical attraction.  What more can I say other than you can’t keep your hands of each other, but at the same time you respect any limits that may be placed for the early stages of dating.

You see the faults in this person.  You are not looking through rose colored glass and can see thing that you consider faults, but this is ok.  You can except them and love them anyway.

You see no need to change this person.  You like them just the way they are.  You are not trying or wanting to change this person in anyway.  You can smile at the faults you see and see no reason to change this in them.


These are just 8 tips to get you started on the right track when getting to know someone.   Print the list out if you are single and looking for that love of a life time.

If you find that you are limited on time when it comes to trying to find that special someone that makes you feel like you are walking on clouds, consider Match. Com.   No more blind dates from friends, not more bar hopping or getting involved with people you work with (which never work out anyway).  You won’t even have to worry about searching 0ut the single people in the super market any more.

When I was looking for that special love of my life the thing that I really liked about the dating service was I could go about my own business and they were doing all the work for me.   Got to Love that kind of set up!

Ok, get off your computer and go out there and have some fun, finding that special someone, or just enjoying that special person that you do have in your life.  Life is fun and sharing it with others is even more fun.

If you do have a second I would appreciate a comment before you go have that fun.   Thank you many bunches.


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  1. Chukwuka Okwukwe Chukwuka

    It’s a great list Debbie, but I beg to digress on the first point:

    “Your family back ground is similar. You where raise with similar morals and beliefs. You think alike, but at the same time you can accept any differences.”

    This can’t happen all the time but it’s good though if you’re from same background and if both partners aren’t, they can still fix it up anyway.

    What’s your take on this?
    Chukwuka Okwukwe Chukwuka recently posted..3 Reasons Why You Cringe In Fear When Setting Your Dream GoalMy Profile

    • Hi Chukwuka,
      There is always going to be some differences in the way children are raised. Similar is the key words here. Like Grady says it is the similarity in the morals and beliefs. We all have a different opinion on many things and when we start out with similar foundation it makes it easier to see the others point of view. An example of this would be. You both are raised in a Christian home, but different denominations. Your believes are similar, but still not the same. Knowing that you have some common ground there you can have more understanding in seeing the partners view.
      I do appreciate you disagreeing with me, it showed me that I didn’t quite explain it right. Have work a little harder on that. Thank you for pointing it out. (really i just throw that in to let you know I am not perfect. LOL)

      thanks again Chukwuka for sharing these thoughts. Blessing to you,

  2. Chukwuka,

    I think the point she was trying to make here was not that we had to be raised exactly alike, but that our morals and beliefs should be very similar. Couples that have very different morals might have problems later on. No relationship is ever going to be perfect, but we we should strive to find the closest match we can find.


    I really like that last one, but it’s one I think that’s the relationship matures, we need to keep it in mind. Too often we forget this point and start trying to change the other person instead of trying to change ourselves.

    Thanks for another great post!

    • thanks for the help on this one. I appreciate it. And you are right that we are never going to be raised exactly alike. We do have to make sure we do not try to change our partner. When we see things differently we can communicate this, and if they feel we have a better way of doing or thinking about something they are free to change there way or thinking. I know for myself my hubby has learn from me and I have changes myself for the better and it has to do with him and showing me is view of something.

      Thank you for sharing and helping me out when I don’t complete the point i am trying to make. I am still growing and love learning. You have a wonderful day Grady.

  3. Hi Debbie,

    I love your list. I think it’s necessary to keep all of the above in mind when it comes to knowing who is right for you. Communication happens to be the most important one to me. If we can communicate up front, exactly what it is that we are looking for in a relationship, I believe the rest will fall into place. Of course, a strong physical attraction is always helpful. Great read!
    Vic recently posted..5 Things To Do When Life Beats You UpMy Profile

    • Hi Vic,

      Thank Vic for the kind words. I to believe that communication is most important. Honestly really stands out for me. If you really want a great relationship you have to communicate with honest and stop playing any kind of games. That is where “communicating exactly what is is that we are looking for in the relationship”, plays a big part. I like the way you added that.
      thank you for sharing this with me.
      Have a wonderful day and blessing to you,

  4. I got it pretty well right some 30 or so years back. Will pat myself on back. Accepting each other’s faults is a big one.
    Thank you Debbie &
    be good to yourself
    David Stevens recently posted..Life Goals…..achieving the big ones, after 40My Profile

    • Hi David,

      Good for you David. I do pat you on the back!!! Guess you didn’t have to learn things the hard way like I did. I finally go it right, so i guess it is better late than never. LOL
      I do agree that accepting faults is a pretty big one. We are all different and that does make life a little fun when you have the right attitude about it.
      Thank you for sharing and I hope you felt that pat on the back that I am sending with this.
      Blessing to you and i will be good to myself if you promise to be good to yourself?

      • Thank you Debbie & I will
        David Stevens recently posted..Life Goals…..achieving the big ones, after 40My Profile

  5. i enjoyed reading the post and i got a lot out of it
    thank you Debbie :)

    • Thank you Farouk. Glad that you got a lot out of this post. Thanks again and blessing are being sent your way.

  6. Hi Debbie,
    Very nice job with this post! The woman I love and I share all the 8 points you listed here. This is how I knew that I love her and that she is the one. There has to be spiritual connection, communication and respect. Thanks for sharing Debbie ;)

    • Hi Dia,

      i am very happy that your lovely lady has all these point. You are one lucky man. It makes my heart smile when others sharing about there great relationships and marriage. You are right there has to be a spiritual connection, communication and respect.
      blessing to you and thank you for sharing.

  7. Not feeling like you have to change a person is a huge benefit to have in a relationship. Most of the fights people have are centered on change, so if you can avoid this roadblock you are already ahead of 90% of relationships out there.

    Great points Debbie. I can tell you have found your soul mate.

    Bryce Christiansen recently posted..When Risks Go Wrong…Reward Them! (Here’s Why)My Profile

    • Hi Bryce,

      You are very right when it comes to wanting to change the other person. If you truly love them, you except them for what they are. Most fights do because of this. I can here it now, “Why can’t you be like ____ or ____ doesn’t do that.”

      Yes, Steve and I do make a great part. I believe our communication as much do with this and we do except each other they way we are.
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts again and blessing to you.

  8. Dear Debbie –

    Of the whole list, probably the best advice is to marry someone with the same background..

    It saves a lot of arguments and discord. Otherwise, you are always negotiating.

    Probably not a popular idea – but anything that helps is good.

    Just one thing you do not have to deal with.

    Otherwise, it can work – but not as easily.

    I agree with as the preferred search engine for personals. Not because they are the best (??) but because they are the biggest and cover the largest age range and geography.
    Corinne Edwards recently posted..Godspeed Steve Jobs – LIFE IS SO VERY SHORT – by Neale Donald WalschMy Profile

    • Hi Corinne,

      I am with you on same backgrounds. It does make a a big difference when it comes to arguments and discord. is one of the most popular sites for dating and they do cover all age groups and geography locations. For myself I am a big believe in them when it comes to middle or older people, because it is so hard to meet someone today.
      thank you for sharing with me and blessing to you sweet lady.

  9. Hi Debbie,
    I feel that having the same values is what is most important for me. I don’t want my wife to be exactly as me and the differences we do have should compliment us.
    Justin recently posted..Are Reptilian Entities Manipulating Humans And Earth AffairsMy Profile

    • Hi Justin,

      Same value gets another vote. Corinne also said that same background, which I would say gives 2 people the same values. I vote on that too, because it does save a lot of conflict even if you are different in other ways. Yes, we should always look for someone that compliments us. Thank for adding that one.
      Blessing to you always,

  10. Debbie,

    Dare I say…’gut feelings’?

    That’s what I used.

    Joy and I met 28 years ago…engaged within 6 months…married within the year.

    I just knew she was the one for me!

    Andrew recently posted..Successful Corporate Blogs: The Ten Steps NeededMy Profile

    • Hi Andrew,

      I like that one “Gut Feelings.” I have to say that one did work very will for you. Your lady is a keeper by all means. Wished my gut feelings worked as good as your. LOL
      Maybe they do now it just took me a little longer to listen to them carefully. Thank you many bunches for sharing your experience with us.
      Blessing to you,

  11. My path was not so smooth. I would have to say I am not all that good at recognizing who is the one for me. I agree with your points, but unlike others above, I advise people to go slowly and look carefully to see that these things are really in place. This is one of the best posts on your blog.
    Bruce recently posted..Answers to Pre-PA Questions – Gaining Experience to become a PAMy Profile

    • Hi Bruce,

      Thank you very much Bruce for the kind words. Don’t feel bad, my path has taken me about half my life to find that right one. You know it is never to late. I do agree with you on taking it slow. Specialty as we get older. All go things do take time.
      Thank you for sharing and again I am very happy that you liked this post. I give it my best to keep up the good work.
      Blessing always,

  12. I will go with Andrew on the gut feeling relationship. I met my current partner, soon to be wife, at work. It was love at first sight. We hit it off real quick and got ‘married’ within three months. Have tow kids now, and going on to five years together. We sure did have our differences and arguments, but at the end of all, we still feel the deep connections like when we first met. I guess time will smooth our differences. Changing each other is the last thing on our mind. All I am concern about now is growing each other to be the person we were meant to be. Of course there is the role modelling aspect for the children.

    Want to be a first class success and have a first class relationship as well? Check out my first class post.

    Jimmy recently posted..To Be Successful in Life, Be a First Class PersonMy Profile

    • Hi Jimmy,

      I am learning something new from you guys. When it comes to men I am finding that they just have this gut feeling and love can happen for them at first sight. this is really cool! Guess us ladies just take a while. That deep connection does mean a lot and i am very happy that you and your partner know how to keep it alive. We all have our differences, and it seems you know how to work through those.

      Thank you for sharing a little of your life with us. You make me smile!!!
      Blessing to you Jimmy,

  13. Great list Debbie. I was living with my to-be wife within six months and married at 18 months, sometimes I think you just know. It’s been many years since then and it’s the best decision I ever made. Of course we have our differences, but we’re alike in so many ways, I think that’s important. So you both have an equal partnership. Sometimes at least!

    • Hi Joel,

      Good for you. Here again you mention that some times you just know. I think guys are better at this gut feeling and just know than women are. Are there any ladies out there that just knew? Would love to here from you. Equal partnership means a lot. It keeps the balance in the relationship.

      Thank you Joel for sharing and I am so happy for you. By the way how is the little guy doing? Getting more sleep these days?
      Blessing to you and that wonderful family of yours,

      • Thanks Debbie! I’m getting some more sleep than I have, but I would like a couple more hours to help reduce “Grumpy Joel” time :)
        Joel recently posted..Going The Extra Mile – How To Give Your Readers Outstanding Customer ServiceMy Profile

        • Hi Joel,

          OOPS on the Grumpy Joel time. LOL Those couple of extra hours of sleep can make a difference. No worries, that extra sleep will come when he reaches the age of 2. OOPS, about that time here comes another little one. LOL.
          What can I say other than it does get better as they get older. That just goes for sleep anyway.
          Thank you for the chuckle. I do appreciate it.

  14. Great advice, Debbie! Relationships are definitively not easy. Accidents happen to even the best drivers. But I totally agree with you – if you think you’ll be able to ‘really’ love the person of your choice tomorrow – after he or she makes a few changes – forget it.
    Beat Schindler recently posted..Critical Success FactorMy Profile

    • Hi Beat,

      Thank you! Yes, if you have to change something the relationship is not going to last. We are who we are. If there is change it has to come within that person, not because someone else wants us to change.

      I really like this, “Relationships are definitively not easy. Accidents happen to even the best drivers.” Nice way to put it, Beat.
      Thank you for sharing and blessing to you,

  15. Hi Debbie,
    I like your last point the best. Feeling at home and comfortable with a man ranks very high on my list.
    Cheryl from thatgirlisfunny recently posted..Who’s Wearing The Pants? The War Between The Sexes Rages On (infographic)My Profile

    • Hi Cheryl,

      I can not argue with that one Cheryl. If we don’t feel comfortable with the one we are with, this does make for a BIG problem.
      Thank you for sharing your opinion.
      blessing to you,

  16. I disagree on on the first one. It is not always that your family background has similarities. Maybe on some aspects but not everything.

    • Hi Tina,

      We can learn from others when it comes to being raised, but when you have 2 people that have the same morals and beliefs it does make a relationship run much smoother and not as many differences to deal with.
      However different can be fun with the right attitude.
      Thank you for sharing your opinion, love when that happens.

  17. Hi Debbie,

    Nice article but what my bf seem attractive to me only 2/8 of your above post :p that’s,
    – Communication comes easy.
    – There is a physical attraction
    Kiki recently posted..Natural CuresMy Profile

    • Hi Kiki,

      You do need a little more that just 2 of these points for a lasting relationship. Sometimes when there is a lot of physical attraction we can be distracted by this and over look other important parts in a relationship. The communication is very important, but at all times. i would go over some of these tips and see what kind of a response you may get from your bf.

      Always remember for a lasting relationship you both have to be on the same page. Thank you Kiki for sharing with me on this post. If you have any question just email me. Thanks again and blessing to you.

  18. “You see no need to change this person”

    Debbie, that is HUGE. If couples applied just that one criteria before marrying, I wonder what the divorce rate would be?
    Amy LeForge recently posted..Teach Kids to WANT to Eat Good FoodMy Profile

    • Hi Amy,

      I couldn’t agree with you more. When we except the person for who and what they are and stop trying to change anyone I believe the divorce rate would go down. I made this mistake when I was young and had to learn the hard way. Thank you for sharing we me and my readers.
      Blessing to you always,

  19. Hi Debbie,

    I agree with Corinne as personalities really matter when it comes to sustaining a relationship. Well, even if say we get to marry like the “opposite”, still there are qualities that we see are the same that makes us fit well until we grow older. So in the end, it’s all about understanding each other’s wrongness and rightness.
    Tyrone recently posted..Outsourcing Live Monthly Report: October 2011My Profile

    • Hi Tyrone,

      It is about understand each others wrongness and rightness. As life moves forward we have to keep growing together and not grow apart. Corinne made a very good point.
      Thank you for sharing your opinion about this post in telling if they are the one for you.
      Blessing always,

  20. Debbie, the secret to a long term relationship is sometimes just not being pissed off at the same time. I’ve been married over 30 years and some of the above come and go, but we still hang in there!
    Michelle Vandepas recently posted..Love, Light and Business Author Bonnie WillowMy Profile

    • Hi Michelle,

      I like that you are right. “Not being pissed off at the same time” Very good point that you make. This is very important, because if we are both pissed at the same time it is like trying to see through the forest.
      thank you Michelle for adding to this post.
      Blessing always,

  21. Vicky Gibbs says:

    I do appreciate you disagreeing with me, it showed me that I didn’t quite explain it right. Good for you David. You both are raised in a Christian home, but different denominations. Too often we forget this point and start trying to change the other person instead of trying to change ourselves.
    Vicky Gibbs recently posted..Cancer TipsMy Profile

    • Hi Vicki,

      You are right we can not try to change anyone. We can point things out, but it is up to the other person if they want to do anything about it. It is up to us to take a look at ourselves to see if we are the change that needs to happen.
      thank you Vicki for sharing,

  22. Lela Francis says:

    blessing to you and thank you for sharing. That is where “communicating exactly what is is that we are looking for in the relationship”, plays a big part.
    Lela Francis recently posted..Many MopsMy Profile

    • Hi Lela,
      This is very true. After i answer a comment I always love sending blessing to that person, because they are very much appreciated for taking there time to comment. Communication is the most important thing we can every do for others.
      Blessing to you,

  23. Akos Fintor

    My wife checks out, I think we’ll keep each other.

    thanks for the share

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