Why talking boost happiness levels

I have a friend who is a psychotherapist.  Every day, she goes in to a clinic and meets patients who offload their problems on to her. She listens, and works with them to get them to be happy.  Over the course of the day, she meets a procession of depressed, anxious, frightened, lonely and upset people.  She has to listen to a constant barrage of misery, poured out from each of the people she supports.

My friend is one of the happiest people I know.

You’d imagine that with all those problems being presented to her every day, she’d soon be feeling pretty tired about life in general.  She has to sit in a room and be bombarded with misery after misery, and is expected to heal people and make everything better.  What’s her secret?

My friend isn’t a tough cookie, by any means.  She’s as soft as the next person, and often finds herself shedding tears alongside her clients when they tell their stories.  It isn’t as if she simply brushes off the problems, either.  She feels them when she speaks with people, and shares the sorrow.

So, what’s the secret?

I asked her, the other day, how she kept happy in the face of such sadness.  She grinned at me.  She explained that all counsellors have their own person that they can offload on.  When things get stressful, or too demanding, or simply too emotional, they simply call their supervisor and have a good chat, cry or laugh about it.

This means, basically, throughout her entire career as a helper, my friend has had ongoing counselling from her supervisor.  She says it keeps her sane.

The power of talking

We all know that to bottle things up is unhealthy, and leads to physical and emotional issues. Talking, by its very nature, has the opposite effect.  Have you heard the expression, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’? This means that when we offload on to someone else who is willing to listen and offer support, we lessen our burden and halve our worry.

This is how friendship works. We lend an ear when it’s needed, and call to chat when we want to share something.  It’s a mutual relationship that benefits both people.

People with depression often clam up and can’t bring themselves to discuss their issues.  The thing is, talking to someone really opens up channels of communication and allows us to speak our feelings aloud, taking away their power to bring us down.  My friend the counsellor understands that sometimes all she needs to do is sit in a room and listen without judging, for her to have done a great job.  Her clients cry, discuss memories and issues, and walk out of her clinic feeling good again. She feels fine because she knows she’s done some good, and can lean on her supervisor for support when she needs to.  It’s kind of like a great friendship!

If things get you down, pick up the phone and tell someone about it.  And never be too busy to do the same thing for your friends!

Do you have someone to talk too? Let me know in the comment box below.

To your happiness,

Debbie