Speaking Nicely – the Secret to Happiness

Imagine you’re walking down the road, and you see someone in front of you. You walk up to them and sneer, and then say:

“You’re a really ugly person. I hate your face today and you’re really overweight. You’re also a bit useless mostly, and people don’t like you very much.  That blemish on your face is really noticeable, and everyone stares at it when you go out.”

Can you imagine doing that? No?

The truth is you probably did that very thing today.

…To yourself.

Everybody has self-talk or self-chatter. Sometimes it is positive and sometimes it is negative (or very negative).  Do you say things to yourself such as: “you idiot” or “how could you do that?”  Do you say things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to others?

If someone spoke to me the way I often speak to myself, I’d probably be shocked, offended and more than a little bit upset.  Apart from the fact that the statements are usually rude and critical, it’s also usually pretty unfair and not grounded in any truth at all.

Listening out for our inner voice

For many reasons, it is good to hear our own negative self-talk and to turn it around.  With awareness, we can start to hold it in check and work on our self-esteem.  It’s really important to be able to acknowledge the negative inner voice and change it, so you’re not constantly criticizing yourself for things.

Try being encouraging, just as you are with others

When things are tough or you are battling with something, encouragement is a wonderful means of giving you a boost. But, does encouragement have to come from someone externally? We should always have enough positive belief in ourselves to carry us through.

Next time you find yourself being judgemental about yourself, try getting the negative words to shut up, and replace them with something positive. Try sentences such as:

• I AM A GOOD PERSON
• I LIKE MYSELF
• I LOOK LOVELY TODAY
• I AM LOVED
• I AM GOOD AT…
• MY FAMILY CARE ABOUT ME
• I CAN BE, AND DO, ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO.

These words will probably sound foreign when you first say them to yourself.  Instinctively, we all shy away from such broad positive statements, as we have an ingrained modesty that prevents us from being so complimentary to ourselves!

However, our inner voice can be trained.  Just as you tell a child off for using curse words, so you should keep an ear out for your inner voice and check out what it’s saying.  If the chatter isn’t positive, give it a good ticking off!

Making new, positive habits

Over time, we can teach ourselves to make positive changes to our inner voice.  If we can get in to the habit of easting chocolate regularly, brushing our teeth or taking a stroll every day, we can teach our inner voice to be polite and friendly, too!  It’s no different.  Sometimes, happiness can be something as simple as being a good friend to ourselves.

Are you a good friend to yourself?  Love to hear your answer.

May you always find happiness by treating yourself with love!

Debbie