Personal forgiveness – the road to happiness within

One of the main secrets to happiness has to be the power to forgive ourselves.

Have you ever done something wrong, and been so eaten up with guilt that you haven’t even been able to think about it?

Humans are flawed.  We all sometimes say or do something which comes back to haunt us again, leaving us feeling guilty or ashamed.  From the person who tells a secret and betrays a confidence, right through to the driver who accidentally hits another vehicle, people carry an element of guilt with them most of the time.

Guilt is a terrible emotion. It erodes our confidence and makes us feel truly miserable.  We replay the event which caused it over and over in our minds, wishing we could turn back time and do things differently.

Accepting the things you cannot change

None of us has a magic time machine that will transport us back to a certain time, to allow us to make amends.  This means that guilt is essentially a wasted emotion. While it’s very important to accept responsibility for our actions, carrying an ongoing burden of guilt can’t help us at all.  We do need to feel guilt in order to remember not to act in the same way again in future.  However, carrying ongoing guilt for something which you have apologized for doesn’t help anything.

If you have done all you can to make amends, perhaps it’s time to let go of your guilt and move forward.  Once you have said you are sorry, and explained why you acted in the way you did, there is literally nothing left for you to do.  If the person you hurt has forgiven you, why can you not forgive yourself?

Letting go of guilt

It can take time to forgive yourself for things, but you need to be able to do this in order to move forward.  Sit down and think about why you acted in the way you did. Remember the situation, what happened and your reaction.  Is what you did really so bad?  Would you act differently next time?  If you would, this means that you have learned from your experience and there is no more need to have feelings of guilt.

It’s important to remember that one of the most beautiful aspects of being a person is that we are flawed.  We have failings, because perfection is boring.  Each one of us is made up of quirks which we can learn to control, but will never erase.

Moving forward

If you are reading this post, have a think about any guilt you might be feeling right now about certain situations.  And then forgive yourself.  You don’t hold grudges against the people around you who sometimes let you down, because you know that people are essentially good.  The same goes for you – stop holding a grudge against yourself!

Let me know how you get on, losing your guilt and getting to Happiness Within.

Debbie