Embrace Change with Happiness
There’s a great quote out there by Susan Jeffers, who writes inspirational self-help books. The title of one of her bestsellers is ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’. Sometimes when things get tough, I think of this phrase. It can be used so often to help us embrace change, and not be afraid of making alterations in our lives that can help us choose to be happy.
Change can be frightening. The thought of swapping something we know and understand for unknown territory rightly fills most people with dread. The thing is, change can be the best catalyst for moving forward and achieving our dreams and finding happiness within.
Here’s an example.
I have a friend called Alison, who I have known since we were in school together. She has always been bright, funny and loveable. When we were growing up together, Alison was the one person who I thought would always be an outstanding achiever. She got the top marks in class, and was the kind of person other people gravitated towards. She was inspirational, popular and great company. She seemed to know the secret to happiness.
Alison went on to marry a man who dented her confidence. She changed from being outgoing, bubbly and ambitious to shy, quiet and self-deprecating. Her husband constantly told her that she was unattractive, incapable and useless. She started to believe it.
Twenty years after we first met, Alison made a decision. She chose to be happy. She left her husband, changed her job, and retrained to do something she loved. Her confidence soared, and she is once again the person people look to for inspiration when it comes to finding fulfillment and happiness within.
When I caught up with my old friend recently, I asked her what had prompted her to make such radical changes in her life. She came up with the following quotes, which I think are incredibly useful when it comes to evaluating change and embracing it:
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you have always gotten.
This basically means that in order to reach happiness, you have to make changes. Don’t be afraid to try new things.
This, too, will pass.
This is Alison’s mantra. No matter how bad things get, you know that everything will be different if you persevere and change your perspective. There is nothing that cannot be fixed.
When things get tough, you need to have the power to change them
Don’t be afraid to make radical improvements in your life. You have the power, courage and capability to be, doing and achieve anything you set your mind to. The only limitation in your life is…you.
Alison is now happy, having changed her relationship, location and vocation. I’m proud of what she has achieved, and also knows that her advice can offer other people hope that life can get better, and we all have the power within us to achieve our goals and achieve our happiness.
Making changes in your life can be tough, but sometimes a radical shake-up is a perfect opportunity to sit down and think about whom you are, and what you want to achieve. Be brave. Life is kind, and you can bet your bottom dollar that it will see you right if you give it a helping hand and choose to be happy.
Get in touch and let me know how you have used change in your life to reach a better state of happiness. I know there are a lot of us out there!
Debbie
Hi Debbie,
After I was downsized from the career job I’d spent a ton of time and money training for, I was lost for awhile. When I couldn’t get a similar job, I got depressed and very scared. I have a 15 year old son (now) and it took time to trim down our budget to make my severance pay last as long as it could. The chemical economy was in the toilet in Louisiana in 2004, and there were no jobs to be had unless I wanted to work 12 hour rotating shifts plus overtime for half my previous pay. My son was 7 then and I didn’t have anyone to stay with him at night while I would be on night shift or weekend shift. Those are the jobs still available today.
I was a research chemist and being a technician sounded like it would get boring because I would have little to no opportunity to develop methods, tests, or research new technologies. That’s what I spent most of my time on before, and I loved it. I analyzed samples, a lot of them, but it was for the purpose of developing and verifying new methods and technologies to solve problems. It would also require working for a temp company and having to pay full price for our benefits, if any were offered.
I applied for tons of jobs and went to a lot of interviews. Most of the jobs would require me to train on their new instruments, and they could higher a master’s or Ph.D. level chemist directly out of grad school fully trained and for half what they would have to pay me. Then the agencies started calling me about my old job. They wouldn’t interview me, though I was perfect for the job, but it was a permanent track position and part of the severance agreement was I couldn’t work for Albemarle again as an employee. I could work for them as a contractor, but I couldn’t have any permanent-track positions. After the 5th call like that, I withdrew my resume from all the agencies and sent them out myself.
When I started running out of money, I decided I had to find something else to do with my degree. I started tutoring high school math and science. I really enjoy it and it pays pretty well. I had forgotten how much I love pouring over complex advanced math and physics problems. I didn’t have to work 50+ hours a week to earn enough for us to live on. I work more like 20-30 hours a week. Mon-Thurs 3:30-7:30. sometimes until 8:30, and Sundays 2-5 or later as needed. The main library branch is open until 10 p.m. on Sundays. It’s great because I’m not a morning person. I had originally planned for tutoring to be a part-time job until I found another full-time job, but that didn’t happen.
So, I plan to continue tutoring, and if I need extra money, I’ll mow yards or deliver pizzas until I catch up on money. I will likely be delivering pizzas or cutting grass every June and July until I’ve been in business for myself long enough to raise my prices sufficiently to live and save for summers off. I under-priced myself this year because it was the first year I was in business for myself.
I worked for a tutoring company for 4 years, but we were informed May 21, 2009, that the company was closing as of June 1, 2009. We were all let go, but our previous employer talks to prospective clients about our performance working for her and she sends us clients when people call her for tutors. I plan to raise my prices $5/hr next school year, and raise them again the following years until I’m making the going rate and if the economy improves. If it doesn’t, I will leave my prices alone that year and let everyone’s income catch up.
Since I have 10-20 hours of spare time, I can write on my blog and work on my niche websites. I also have time to homeschool my son. It isn’t what I really wanted to do, but his problems with school were intolerable. They gave up on him, but I refuse to. I teach him what he has to know to pass the GED, and let him focus the rest of the time on what really interests him. That comes down to reading, English composition, and math. I don’t give him tests formally. I make him work tests as if they were homework sheets. If he gets something wrong I make him do it until he gets it right. Giving out grades lower than a high B allows students to cop out and get by. I want him to really learn the material. When he complains, I tell him if he would take the time to learn it the first time, he wouldn’t have to repeat the work.
When he asks if he should pick a major or a career, I tell him to think about it and try some out if the opportunity exists. But I also tell him he has awhile before college, and that you don’t really have to pick a major until your sophomore year. In some cases you can wait until your junior year. I learned the hard way that what I wanted to do at 18 wasn’t working out at 21, so I was in college until I was 24. I encourage him to explore a lot of different areas before he picks something. I also told him he needs to pick something that can be used in a lot of different ways, or may only require a course or 2 to qualify for a different career later. His generation will not be loyal to any company. They will change jobs or careers 5 or more times during their working lives. I advised him not to get too attached to one company, and to always be looking or working on plans B, C, and D just in case.
I’ve told him the only thing holding you back in any area of your life is him. Sometimes you have to reinvent yourself when your current situation isn’t working.
Great advice!
Sherri
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Hi Sherri,
Sounds like you are doing one great job of keeping things together and embracing change in your life. You are a very good example for your son. He will thank you for years. I take it you are a single parent. I know what that is like, I have three daughters that I raised by myself.
Thank you so much for sharing all of this with my readers. You are an inspiration. May you always be blessed with love and happiness.
Debbie