Is Your Child Emotionally Happy?
ByShallon Caldwell (my daughter)runs the Missing Children Task Force, a nonprofit organization in Colorado, that aids parents and law enforcement in the location and recover on missing children.
Have you seen Mystic Salazar
You are probably wondering what this has to do with happiness. A lot of the children that she looks for can be a runaway child or children that have gotten mixed up with the wrong people, because they are looking for happiness and love.
It is so important that we clearly let our children know how much they are loved and cared about in those early years. Choosing happiness for your child in those early years helps them to be happy adults later in life. Happy children are more productive in life and find success more easily.
When our children are happy they make better choices in life. If you don’t believe this is true spend some time around a whinny kid and their choices. (You really don’t want to go there, so let’s stick with giving them happiness.)
Here is 16 ways to help them with their happiness within:
Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park and play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won’t worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won’t stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald’s and buy us both a happy meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV show.
Just for this evening, when I run my fingers through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children’s graves instead of their bedrooms, and the mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside they can’t handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day….
When it comes to our happiness there is nothing greater than the gift of a child. (I realize some people don’t agree with that statement and that is ok.)
If you want happiness within, then use these 16 statements to help your children find their happiness within or go to “What you need to know about Choosing Happiness for your children ”for more ideas in raising happy children.
If you know of a parent that is missing their child, go to this link Missing Children’s Tasks Force and you will be directed to the right people that can make a difference in someone’s happiness.
Thank you for your time in this matter of helping our children find their happiness, so they won’t go missing.
Debbie Dee
P.S. This is a nonprofit organization, so there will be no cost to the parents who in need of help. Donations are accepted and are tax deductible.
Hi Debbie, that is such a great article! I couldn’t agree more, and your tips are spot on.
My kids are getting older but i can still do some of the things that you suggested geared towards their age. My son is almost 20 and looking after my inlaws house while they are away – a strange adjustment.
I have to say that I love my kids as they are, but I miss the days when they were young. I dreamed about my son as a small boy again and carried it with me all day yesterday. The end scene is Benjamin Button when he becomes a child again is heart wrenching to me because I miss my babies :0)
I can’t say enough how important it is to enjoy the time when they are young because it won’t last as long as you might think it will. I always thought it would last forever.
I am happy that I did try my best to make the most of it although of course, there are some things I would do differently.
The thing that was my motto which helped so much was the saying “Do your eyes light up when your child walks in the room”.
It seems to have done the trick.
Thanks for another wonderful article. Everyone with kids should read it.
Jan-queenofkaos´s last blog ..Learning to Let Go – The Process
Hi Jan,
I do understand where you are coming from. Sometimes you do wish they would never grow up. When I feel this way I look at them and see what they have grown up to be. Warm loving, caring adults and I am proud.
Children always do need you though, just in different ways. The hardest thing for me now is to see when they are making a mistake and all you can do is be there for them if they need you. Really letting them learn things the hard way.
That is why the good self-esteem is so important for them when they are little. Mistakes when they are older will only be learning experiences for them.
Remember no parent is perfect, but we do the best job we can. “Children are adults when they forgive us for what they think we did to them.” That is my motto.
Thanks again for your comment , it is appreciated.
Debbie
This is so great. And while you know all of it deep inside, it is good to have a reminder. I have an 18-month old daughter, and we are expecting the second girl in May. She is a daddy’s girl, my wife always tells me that she can make me do anything. And I have to admit, it’s true. There’s nothing like seeing your kid be happy, that makes you happy, too. But I need these reminders because I work a lot. By nature I’m a workoholic, and especially when things need to be done. Sometimes I’m not sure how I provide for the family, to bring in more income, or to have more time with them. So, thank you, it made my day.
Hi Tom,
Glad I could help. Balance is the key to children. We have to keep a roof over there head and clothes on there back and food in their little mouth. When providing for a family, just remember it is not stuff children need, but you! They will remember that more then stuff. They will remember that you taught them how to ride that bike, not that it was the top of the line bike.
When I was a single parent and had to work. I was in sales, because I could work around them. Some would say that I could have made more money if I had a real job, but what was important to me was being there for them. They did go without some stuff, but they are glad today that I made the choice that I did.
Congratulations on the new one coming. And you sound like a very loving caring father.
Thanks for your comment
Debbie
Yes, balance is the keyword, which I wasn’t able to master yet. Fortunately I quit my job last year and went into business for myself. Little did I knew… First of all, I love what I’m doing, so it is easier to get carried away with work, as before it was easier to clock out at 5. I have a great advantage though, last year, I spent about 50 days off, just being with the family. But it is hard to balance. I’m either off, or work like no tomorrow, not necessarily by choice, but because of the dynamics of the business. So, I have yet to find a better balance.
Keep up the great blog!
Tom´s last blog ..A Day Through The Eyes of a Blind Woman: Part 3
Sounds to me like you are really working hard on that balance and doing a great job. Good for you. The 50 day spent with family sounds wonderful.
Good luck with your new bussiness at home, great way to go.
May you always be blessed with happiness and love,
Debbie
Hi Debbie,
I liked this post. What you have done is provide us with 16 affirmations that we can use to imprint our brain with the habit of thinking about the needs of those we love. I don’t think much about happiness – it isn’t a term I use – I think about peace of mind and secure feelings. Those are things I believe I can influence where I view happiness as due to external cues, not internal or self influence. I am talking semantics, but it is how I feel.
Differences in words aside, your advice is solid. Developing the mental habit will help you speak your intent and not your emotions. When you are stressed, afraid, and very tired, you will habitually think about what is best rather than what is convenient. I helped raise 5 children and now have 7 grandchildren and wasn’t habitual in my “peace of mind” thinking until my kids were grown. I am, fortunately, a Grandfather with better thinking and mental habits now.
Bruce “the Mid-Life Mentor”´s last blog ..Heart Disease in Post Menopausal Women
Hi Bruce,
You mention that you think of peace of mind and secure feelings. This is happiness, just using different words like you said.
To me being a grand parent is like having a second chance. There are things everyone did with there children that we say, “What was I thinking.” As a grandparent we do have more patience and we have learned alone the way. This is why grandparents are so important, because they can give those children something there parents may not, because parents are dealing with the children every day and night.
You look like you are a great grandfather, just remember when they are teenagers they may forget who we are for a while. (we have to remember how important friends are at that time.)
The most important thing for children is to let them know they are loved, trusted (to a point when referring to teenage)and that they are special. Balance that with a little fear and your good to go.
Debbie
Dear Debbie -
It is commonly said that children arrive with no Assembling Manual.
You have written one here that should be passed out in every hospital where a new baby is born.
I found this post so touching. It speaks so well of the author and your open heart.
Corinne Edwards´s last blog ..SECOND HAND ROSES – The Junktiquing Road – Dawn Edwards
Thanks Corinne. I have always looked at children as the most precious gift you can have. And they do grow up quickly. There little minds are like sponges and sometimes this can be forgotten. Thanks again, Corinne
Debbie
I agree Corinne. Also should be handed out to parents at schools and everywhere else.
If everyone was to follow these suggestions there would be many more happy children, families and eventually adults and on and on.
I think of children as one of life’s treasures as well Debbie. They really are.
Jan – queenofkaos´s last blog ..Learning to Let Go – The Process
Hi Jan, I agree with you Thanks for your comment. Children are the future and they need all the help they can get from us the parents, teachers and mentors, etc..
Debbie
Thanks for the reminder….. I try to cuddle and love on my child – but sometimes ‘work’ gets in the way…
Michelle´s last blog ..Peggie Arvidson – Awaken Your Soul – Hand Analyst
Hi Michelle,
I think we all do that at times. The key is to find balance. When I get out of balance I just say to myself, “Now if I wasn’t here tomorrow what would I wish had done?”
That helps me stay in balance and not forget what is really important.
My children are grown now, but they remember the little things, not what I gave them in stuff.
Someday when a child becomes a teen if we don’t have time for the hugs and cuddles when they are little they are going to learn not to have the time also.
Thanks for talking to me with your comment it is appreciated.
Debbie
This is absolutely beautiful, Debbie.
My first is arriving next month… and I’ll be referencing this list as she grows up.
Children are one of the many blessings of the truly majestic gift of life that we all have…
I’m making it a point to show a little more appreciation each day!
keep smiling,
Ben
Benjamin´s last blog ..Blast from the Past: Stretching Seconds Meditation
Hi Benjamin, and congratulations on the little one! They are a real blessing and they grow fast. You are definitely on the right track and sounds like you are going to be a great father.
Let us know when that little one arrives.
May happiness always be yours,
Debbie
I’m still single and I believe that I should keep these advice in mind. One day, they’ll be extremely helpful to me. Thank you.
Raymond Chua´s last blog ..How to become the person you were meant to be
Hi Raymond,
Thank you for the comment and you are going to make a good father some day.
Having been there and done that, children really don’t come with an instruction manual, so all the advice you can store up now, will help in the future.
You have a wonderful and happy day,
Debbie
Wow, great post, I really was quite moved. Being a parent and with one on the way, I always am thinking about such things. and am sad when I hear about children going missing or disappearing. I think that a child’s happiness begins with the parents. Thank You.
The Niche Think Tank´s last blog ..The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz – Book Review
Thanks, and I completely agree with you. A child’s happiness does begin with the parents. Congratulations on your new one coming. Children are great gift. One thing that always felt when I was raising my 3 girls was that they were just gifts entrusted to me, so if I ever ran into situations that I didn’t know what to do I was never afraid to ask for guides
Thanks again to the Niche Think Tank
Debbie
Oy. After some frustrations with the kiddos it’s easy to have the wrong perspective in life. Thanks for the encouragement and reminders! I will be implementing some forthwith. And I might have to throw in an apology as well – it’s been a frustrating few days.
Amy LeForge´s last blog ..Fun For Your Friday: Zoo Memories
Hi Amy,
I do know that one can have some frustrating days when it comes to children. The apologies are good. When we realize that we have made a mistake with a child or over reacted and apology to them, they in turn see that it is ok to make mistakes.
When I would have one of those days with my children I always tried to stop and think; “Is this going to make any differences tomorrow or next week?”
Sounds to me like you are a good mother. Keep up the good work.
Hang in there the reward are wonderful.
Debbie