Secret To Happiness: Do I Have Low Self-Esteem Part 3

While you might already have a good indication that you are suffering from low self-esteem, it might be a good idea to explore this a little further.  The more we explore our personality the closer we can be to choose happiness with all our choice we make in life.                                                      

Take this simple quiz.

Personality Self-Esteem Assessment

Directions:  Answer T if the statement is true for you.  Answer F if the statement is false for you.

T  F   I am able to discuss my good points, skills, abilities, achievements and successes with others.

T  F   I assert myself with someone whom I believe is violating or ignoring my rights.

T  F   I am content with who I am, how I act, and what I do in life.

T  F   I am not bothered by feelings of insecurity or anxiety when I meet people for the first time.

T  F   My life is balanced between work, family life, social life, recreation/leisure and spiritual life.

T  F   I am aware of the roles I played in my family of origin and have usually been able to make these
behavior patterns work for me in my current life.

T  F   I am bonded with the significant others in my environment at home, work, school, at play, or in the
community.

T  F   I am able to perform the developmental tasks necessary to ensure my ongoing healthy self-esteem.

T  F   I am satisfied with my level of achievement at school, work, home, and in the community.

T  F   I am a good problem solver; my thinking is not clouded by irrational beliefs or fears.

T  F   I am willing to experience conflict, if necessary to protect my rights.

If you selected F for three or more of the preceding questions, you probably need to work at increasing your self-esteem, so you can find your happiness within.  That’s what we’re here for!  But that comes a little later!

There are many, many indicators that a person has low-self-esteem.  Consider this list.

People with low self- esteem:

• Consider themselves lost, unworthy of being cared for

• Are poor risk takers

• Operate out of a fear of rejection

• Are typically unassertive in their behavior with others

• Are fearful of conflict with others

• Are hungry for the approval of others

• Are poor problem solvers

• Are distressed with irrational beliefs and have a tendency to think irrationally

• Are susceptible to all kinds of fears

• Have a tendency to become emotionally stuck and immobilized

• Have a poor “track record” in school or on the job; conversely, they sometimes over compensate and become over achievers

• Are unable to affirm or to reinforce themselves positively

• Are unable to make an honest assessment of their strengths, qualities, and good  point; they find it difficult to accept compliments or recognition from others

• Have poorly defined self-identities with a tendency to just blend in so they can fit in with others

• Are insecure, anxious, and nervous when they are with others

• Often become overcome with anger about their status in life and are likely to have chronic hostility or chronic depression

• Are easily overcome with despair and depression when they experience a setback or loss in their lives

• Have a tendency to overreact and become de-energized by resentment, anger, and the desire for revenge against those whom they believe have not fully accepted them

• Fulfill roles in their families of origin that are counter-productive and disruptive behavior.  These roles carry over into their adult lives

• Are vulnerable to mental health problems and have a tendency to use addictive behavior to medicate their hurt and pain.  Such addictive behavior can include alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, sex, shopping, working too much, or the search for excitement.

Kind of overwhelming isn’t it?  Do you recognize yourself in any of these statements?  Don’t feel alone.  Actually, low self-esteem is actually quite a widespread problem.  And if you suffer from this problem, it can cause some more, even serious problems.

Low self-esteem can have devastating consequences on happiness within.

• It can create anxiety, stress, loneliness and increased likelihood for depression.

• It can cause problems with friendships and relationships.

• It can seriously impair academic and job performance.

• It can lead to underachievement and increase vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.

Worst of all, these negative consequences themselves reinforce the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower self-esteem and increasingly non-productive or even actively self-destructive behavior, which takes away all chances of finding happiness within.

As we go through this DO NOT DESPAIR, because we do have to remember that no one is perfect.  However there is always room for improvement and learning about us.  Obviously happiness within comes from getting to know our real self and improving what we feel needs to be improved.

Next I shall go into the three different faces that people with low self-esteem wear.

Please leave any comment that you may have so far.

By the time I am through with these articles my dream is to bring each and every one of you closer to your happiness with.  Until we meet again, just think about this for awhile then go have some FUN.  Do something that you have always wanted to do.  Get out of your comfort zone.

Choose to be happy by knowing that “God doesn’t make junk.”

Sincerely,
Debbie Dee

P.S. for more information on self-esteem for children click on this link : Building Your Children Self-Esteem
Zoltan Roth has some wonderful information to share: Build your children’s self-esteem.  Teach them to always find their happiness within.